On August 4, 2019 Triangle Residential Options for Substance Abusers, Inc. (TROSA) celebrated the achievements of its most recent graduates – 40 men and women who completed the two-year residential program for individuals with substance use disorders.
With about 500 residents, the nonprofit TROSA is the largest such program in the state and this Sunday’s graduating class was one of the largest in recent memory.
TROSA also celebrated and acknowledged the support of graduates’ families, welcoming guest speaker Shelly Green to deliver opening remarks. Green highlighted how families can play a key role in recovery and shared her own family’s personal struggles with addition and recovery.
On August 4, 2019 Triangle Residential Options for Substance Abusers, Inc. (TROSA) celebrated the achievements of its most recent graduates – 40 men and women who completed the two-year residential program for individuals with substance use disorders.
With about 500 residents, the nonprofit TROSA is the largest such program in the state and this Sunday’s graduating class was one of the largest in recent memory.
TROSA also celebrated and acknowledged the support of graduates’ families, welcoming guest speaker Shelly Green to deliver opening remarks. Green highlighted how families can play a key role in recovery and shared her own family’s personal struggles with addition and recovery.
Green’s brother, Mike Retchless, had been addicted to drugs for more than half his life when he received a letter that confronted him bluntly about the direction he was heading. At the time, the 49-year-old Florida resident had pawned all his belongings, was facing a drug charge and was down to 140 pounds on his nearly six-foot frame.
The letter came Green, who lives in Durham. “If you don’t change your life, you will not live to see 50,” she recalls writing. “Drugs are more important to you than your family, food and work.’”
Her letter included information about Triangle Residential Options for Substance Abusers, Inc. (TROSA). Green was familiar with TROSA through her work as president and CEO of the Durham Convention & Visitors Bureau, now Discover Durham.
TROSA is one of the longest-running programs of its kind, having been in Durham for 25 years. Its services are free of charge and include evidence-based therapies, counseling, job training, education advancement opportunities, access to health care, and ongoing support after graduation.
With the help of his family and the cooperation of a Florida judge, Retchless entered the program in 2013, graduating two years later and eventually joining the TROSA staff.
Retchless says his sister’s written intervention offered “compassion and caring and love” at time when he most needed it. Before then, he had never sought treatment.
At TROSA, he found a community that emphasizes structure, peer support, work-based training and personalized therapy.
Green remembers the first time she saw her brother about two months after he started the program. It was Family Day, a yearly event in which residents invite their families to visit and share a meal. Arriving at the campus, she scanned a crowd of TROSA residents – the men dressed in suits and ties – and burst into tears when she spotted Retchless.
Retchless, however, was still emerging from the fog of addiction. “I love her so much, and I was so glad to see her,” he says. “I know she was a lot more emotionally moved than I was. It was too soon to be affected emotionally. Now, it touches my heart.”
Throughout his residency at TROSA, Green stayed in contact through letters, phone calls and home visits.
“It’s a game-changer having your family support you,” Retchless says. “Most families are damaged because of what a drug addict does, and the interaction is awful, and it takes a long time to heal. Shelly is a great sister.”
Dealing with a relative in addiction can put unbearable strain on families. Green advises families not to fall into self-blame and not to give up.
“Ultimately the drug addict is responsible for their own behavior, and all you can do is get them help and not buy into their excuses and lies, because at the end of the day, they are just excuses, and they won’t help your loved one get better or survive,” she says.
Retchless urges families to speak as directly as his sister spoke to him. “You can’t let that elephant dance in the room or let that infection fester,” he says. “A family should call it out as they see it and get them help immediately. Don’t wait.”
He should know. “If my sister hadn’t intervened and called me out,” he says, “I probably would have died.”
Today, Retchless plays a key role in TROSA’s daily operations. With a background as a professional contractor, he manages construction operations for the program and serves as a mentor to residents. And on August 4, he cheered along with all staff and guests to mark the special milestone for our courageous and inspiring graduates.